Fourth of July. 10:00pm.
Felix came out of our home office yawning. He was tired and just couldn't bear to sit down at the computer to work on his board design. I suggested we go out for a stroll. My mom was in town for the long weekend, could watch the kids (who were sleeping), and a cool night walk would have been nice, given the hot summer days. Felix agreed and piped up that we could use this opportunity to do a dump run. You see, one of our neighbors down the street is in the midst of a major house remodel, and they have a huge dumpster sitting out front for all the home and construction junk associated with such a job. Felix and I have done our share of modest remodeling since we've moved in, and our garage had everything from our old toilet, to rusty light fixtures, to broken window shades. Reluctant to pay for a hauler, we've been occasionally secretly sneaking out in the middle of the night to chuck stuff into our unwitting neighbor's dumpster. Well, to be fair, it's actually Felix who's been doing all the lurking around. Until July 4th, I'd always stayed home to be with the sleeping babes.
I know, I know - it's wrong. But...it's not like we're hurting anyone! And besides, the dumpster is just sitting there. With plenty of room to spare.
So Felix and I went to the garage to prepare the goods. He grabbed his 16 year-old decrepit skis, and I piled the rusty old light fixtures into a box and hoisted up our last window shade. We decided to use Ellie's baby stroller to push everything along. The garage opened, we wheeled our way outside, and everything looked good.
As we casually walked down the sidewalk, I realized that one of our neighbors up ahead had his garage door open as well, light streaming out onto the driveway. He was standing there looking away from us, watching the fireworks in the distance. "Felix...that guy will see us. Let's get into the street so we don't look so conspicuous."
I carefully wheeled the stroller off the curb, and we proceeded at the same pace. Finally, the two of us were at the dumpster. Felix took his skis off his shoulder and gingerly put them in the dumpster. But as he hucked the window shade, I looked behind us and saw that the other neighbor was suddenly walking towards us with a flashlight. Panicked, I hissed at Felix to get going, and we grabbed the stroller and started hurrying away.
"Hey you! Stop!"
Not knowing what else to do, we stopped on the sidewalk and turned around, waiting for the man to approach. He turned out to be an elderly guy, wearing glasses and a baseball cap with a bit of a pot belly. Much to my surprise, he was also confused.
"Wait...did you just see two people walk by? People carrying skis?"
"What? I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"
"Skis. People walking by with skis. Was that you? Did you see anyone walk by?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about?" (Are we going to get AWAY with it?! No, too good to be true...)
"No, I know I saw two people. It must have been you. Did you have skis? Where did they go? I saw you go by with skis! What did you do with them?"
"Look, we have no idea what you mean. We're going home."
"No! I know you had skis! I saw you walk by with them, and you hit my mobile home with your skis! I want to know where they are."
At this point, we stepped into the Twilight Zone. Of all the accusations he could have made, colliding with his mobile home was the last thing I was expecting.
"What?! Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about. We'll admit that we were hauling stuff to throw into the dumpster, but we did NOT touch your mobile home!"
It just went downhill from here with this man and I screaming at each other. (Yes, that's right; I did all the talking - well, shouting - because I'm actually a lunatic...you probably had no idea, huh?) He said he'd call the police; I told him he was nuts and should go ahead and call, since we were going home. He declared that he was going to place me under citizen's arrest; I leaned towards him and shouted that if he laid one finger on me, then I was going to be the one to call the police! I grabbed Felix's arm, grabbed our stroller, and stormed down the street away from the fuming man. He ran to the dumpster and pulled out Felix's skis, insisting that he would find paint transfer from his mobile home. (Was he crazy?! It's not like CSI is real!!! Hello?! It's TELEVISION!)
While he scurried inside with his "evidence", I hurried Felix back to our house. Over nervous giggles and horrible embarrassment, we laid in our bed that night and discussed our options. Ultimately, both of us reassured each other that the entire incident would come to nothing. Imagine a call to the police without any names...address...or clear identification. And what a bizarre tale to tell! A crazy Asian couple with a baby stroller full of junk hit my mobile home with their skis in the middle of the summer?! Felix and I also agreed that there would be NO more trips to the dumpster. We had learned our lesson the hard way.
I guess this means that I'm probably not going to be able to realize my dreams of hosting a neighborhood block party. That's ok. Although Felix enjoys chatting it up, I'm actually quite a recluse and don't mind using this as an excuse to lay low. Better that then have to admit to being the notorious Lynhaven Dumper! (So shameful, really...)
Felix came out of our home office yawning. He was tired and just couldn't bear to sit down at the computer to work on his board design. I suggested we go out for a stroll. My mom was in town for the long weekend, could watch the kids (who were sleeping), and a cool night walk would have been nice, given the hot summer days. Felix agreed and piped up that we could use this opportunity to do a dump run. You see, one of our neighbors down the street is in the midst of a major house remodel, and they have a huge dumpster sitting out front for all the home and construction junk associated with such a job. Felix and I have done our share of modest remodeling since we've moved in, and our garage had everything from our old toilet, to rusty light fixtures, to broken window shades. Reluctant to pay for a hauler, we've been occasionally secretly sneaking out in the middle of the night to chuck stuff into our unwitting neighbor's dumpster. Well, to be fair, it's actually Felix who's been doing all the lurking around. Until July 4th, I'd always stayed home to be with the sleeping babes.
I know, I know - it's wrong. But...it's not like we're hurting anyone! And besides, the dumpster is just sitting there. With plenty of room to spare.
So Felix and I went to the garage to prepare the goods. He grabbed his 16 year-old decrepit skis, and I piled the rusty old light fixtures into a box and hoisted up our last window shade. We decided to use Ellie's baby stroller to push everything along. The garage opened, we wheeled our way outside, and everything looked good.
As we casually walked down the sidewalk, I realized that one of our neighbors up ahead had his garage door open as well, light streaming out onto the driveway. He was standing there looking away from us, watching the fireworks in the distance. "Felix...that guy will see us. Let's get into the street so we don't look so conspicuous."
I carefully wheeled the stroller off the curb, and we proceeded at the same pace. Finally, the two of us were at the dumpster. Felix took his skis off his shoulder and gingerly put them in the dumpster. But as he hucked the window shade, I looked behind us and saw that the other neighbor was suddenly walking towards us with a flashlight. Panicked, I hissed at Felix to get going, and we grabbed the stroller and started hurrying away.
"Hey you! Stop!"
Not knowing what else to do, we stopped on the sidewalk and turned around, waiting for the man to approach. He turned out to be an elderly guy, wearing glasses and a baseball cap with a bit of a pot belly. Much to my surprise, he was also confused.
"Wait...did you just see two people walk by? People carrying skis?"
"What? I'm sorry, what are you talking about?"
"Skis. People walking by with skis. Was that you? Did you see anyone walk by?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about?" (Are we going to get AWAY with it?! No, too good to be true...)
"No, I know I saw two people. It must have been you. Did you have skis? Where did they go? I saw you go by with skis! What did you do with them?"
"Look, we have no idea what you mean. We're going home."
"No! I know you had skis! I saw you walk by with them, and you hit my mobile home with your skis! I want to know where they are."
At this point, we stepped into the Twilight Zone. Of all the accusations he could have made, colliding with his mobile home was the last thing I was expecting.
"What?! Sir, I have no idea what you're talking about. We'll admit that we were hauling stuff to throw into the dumpster, but we did NOT touch your mobile home!"
It just went downhill from here with this man and I screaming at each other. (Yes, that's right; I did all the talking - well, shouting - because I'm actually a lunatic...you probably had no idea, huh?) He said he'd call the police; I told him he was nuts and should go ahead and call, since we were going home. He declared that he was going to place me under citizen's arrest; I leaned towards him and shouted that if he laid one finger on me, then I was going to be the one to call the police! I grabbed Felix's arm, grabbed our stroller, and stormed down the street away from the fuming man. He ran to the dumpster and pulled out Felix's skis, insisting that he would find paint transfer from his mobile home. (Was he crazy?! It's not like CSI is real!!! Hello?! It's TELEVISION!)
While he scurried inside with his "evidence", I hurried Felix back to our house. Over nervous giggles and horrible embarrassment, we laid in our bed that night and discussed our options. Ultimately, both of us reassured each other that the entire incident would come to nothing. Imagine a call to the police without any names...address...or clear identification. And what a bizarre tale to tell! A crazy Asian couple with a baby stroller full of junk hit my mobile home with their skis in the middle of the summer?! Felix and I also agreed that there would be NO more trips to the dumpster. We had learned our lesson the hard way.
I guess this means that I'm probably not going to be able to realize my dreams of hosting a neighborhood block party. That's ok. Although Felix enjoys chatting it up, I'm actually quite a recluse and don't mind using this as an excuse to lay low. Better that then have to admit to being the notorious Lynhaven Dumper! (So shameful, really...)
